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My Hero
 

The Boys, Griffie & Affie
 
A Good Attitude is Everything!
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 Here's my explanation of bad attitude -- how to recognize a negative one and how to fix it.

I am astounded as I look around at people who haven’t gotten anywhere within their careers, and who seem to believe (rightfully so), that they haven’t had a good life. They believe the brass ring is always out of their reach. Of course, they also believe that someone is yanking it out of their reach no matter how hard they try to grab it. I find this to be the case within a group of people who suffer from terminal negative thinking, or lousy attitude. Yet, they don’t believe they have a poor attitude. To them, they are living, as they know how, what they believe to be normal. After all, most of their time is spent with their peers.

Well, it occurred to me that like all other faults, people don’t recognize negative attitudes within themselves. Oh! They can see it in others, but never in their actions. So – to all you people out there who blame everything on everybody but yourself, here’s how to recognize if you have a lousy attitude. Here’s how you can find out if you classify as a bitch or a pain-in-the-ass, who is no fun to be around. Here’s a way to prove once-and-for-all, it’s you who are to blame for your shortcomings, your small paycheck, frequent job changes, loss of spouse, no friends, and the reason life isn’t fair to you. This page will clarify what a lousy attitude is and why it'll keep you on the dirty end of the stick.

You have a lousy attitude if:

bullet you think negative thoughts, ever!.
bullet you choose words to exude spiteful thoughts.
bullet you talk at people rather than to them.
bullet you make an effort to "show" them. (I’ll show them!)
bullet you even think you should "show" them.
bullet you think you work harder than the others.
bullet you believe you should "punish" those around you with your mood.

You have a lousy attitude if:

bullet you look or act sad on purpose.
bullet you want people to know you are upset.
bullet you act depressed or sad in hopes someone will notice.
bullet it takes you more than a minute to get over a disappointing situation or unkind word.
bullet you never act enthusiastic, when you're not.
bullet you never act happy when you're not.
bullet you make sure others know you’re unhappy.

You have a lousy attitude if:

bullet you don’t have any close friends.
bullet you don’t get invited to (other than family), gatherings.
bullet you feel like you’re being left out of the group.
bullet you feel you have a right to be included.
bullet you believe you are entitled (to anything).
bullet people don't engage you in conversation.
bullet people avoid eye contact with you.
bullet if you feel sorry for yourself, ever!.

If this page reads like foolishness to you --- you definitely have an attitude problem, and you’re opposed to fixing it. You are a person who never accepted the fact that everything (short of some accidents), that ever happened to you was caused by you. It always has and always will – good or bad.  Nothing happens unless you make it happen. You don't get out of life what you think you deserve, you get what you negotiate.    It all starts with a good attitude and positive thinking. (Nobody is entitled to anything in life but air, and the quality of that isn't guaranteed.)

In case you're wondering; it's your attitude that does the negotiating.

People with poor attitudes always put the fault of their inequities on someone or something else. Let me give you and example: The other night my sister and I were driving back from Thanksgiving dinner at my brother's home. My cell phone rang and it was for my sister -- one of her sons calling to wish her Happy Thanksgiving. (My cell phone when in the car, is a hands-free system, so I could hear both sides of the conversation.) My sister asked her son if he had gotten her new home phone number in the e-mail message she sent him. His answer, "I never know what's going on, I can't get on the computer, my wife is on it all the time and when she's not, one of the kids is". Poor him! That's what he wanted -- some sort of sympathy. That my friend, is a lousy attitude. A sure sign of insecurity and lack of self-confidence. A confident secure person with a decent attitude in life would have answered something like this: I haven't had a chance to check my e-mail lately.  This nephew has one of the worse attitudes of anyone I know.  Unfortunately, he doesn't recognize that it's the reason he is lacking in career success and happiness.

He went on to tell her how his wife doesn't tell him anything. In my opinion, his wife doesn't want to talk to him at all. I wouldn't with his attitude. People with poor attitudes try to prove the speaker is wrong every time they are spoken to. If not wrong, they have to go into a dissertation trying to up-step, improve on, or add to what the speaker said. In almost every case the dissertation includes the personal pronouns "I" or "me". In other words, the person who doesn't get told much is a person who doesn't really care to listen very well. They are always looking for that opportunity to try to display their knowledge though words. They are never listening -- they are thinking about what they will say immediately, whenever they can break in. Usually, they interrupt the speaker because they can't wait any longer.  A sure sigh of insecurity if I ever recognized it.

People with a good attitude don't contemplate thoughts that are depressing, negative or deceitful. They never use words that are sarcastic, spiteful, or harmful. To do so is a waste of time and energy. When a person thinks "I’ll show them", the only thing they show anybody is that they have a poor attitude and are a jerk. You won’t get sympathy for looking sad and acting like you’re abused at work. What you’ll get is fired. Nobody wants a bad apple in the group and a negative attitude is the rottenest apple of them all.

Let me give you an example: Most of you have seen someone ranting and ravings, making a scene, while a calm and collected person is on the receiving end. Who looks like the jerk? The person making the scene or the party trying to resolve it? If you make sure others know you're upset about something that has happened to or around you –   you’re going to look like the jerk. Yes, even without saying a word, you can come across in the same manner.  If you get dumped on – get over it. Everybody gets dumped on, that’s life. The person with the good attitude gets over it quickly and goes about the business at hand. The person with a lousy attitude drags the situation out hoping to cause some grief to the party who started it (payback). Nobody wants that kind of person around for long. Be happy -- happy people are enjoyable to be around. Unhappy people are a drag and will be avoided.

Over the years, I have fired many excellent mechanics who had a lousy attitude and kept some not-so-good ones with a good attitude. (It's the bad apple theory.)   I could teach those with a good attitude how to be better mechanics.  You can't teach a person with a lousy attitude anything -- they already know-it-all.

If you want to enjoy a good happy successful life with people around you who show they care, you must first get your attitude straightened out. Here’s how: Act happy and you will be happy. Sing a song to yourself every time you start to feel sad or think a negative thought. It works. Never ever think about what someone else has. Never ever think about what you don’t have. Count your blessings and think about your goals and what you are trying to achieve.  Remember, you are working for yourself -- no one else.  Attitude isn't a little thing -- it's everything!  You can't fake it -- it comes through every word you speak.  Nobody can hide their attitude, good or bad. It comes through their voice, facial expressions, eyes, and body language. Isn't that wonderful! When you change your attitude you don't have to do another thing for people to know.  It's displayed automatically without further effort. Get a good attitude, get happy, or get lost!

Here’s something else I’ve noticed: Competent people tend to have better attitudes than incompetent people. I don’t think I’m the only manager who’s aware of that. If I have to explain this to you – here it is: Having a negative attitude at work tends to imply that you are not very competent at what you are doing.

Other related pages that can help:  Work & Business    Always Broke   Facts of Life   You're in trouble

To find out what a good attitude is:  Good Attitude

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